wow. it took like the longest to get here.
mann i am finally here.
and when you need it most, you cant get it.
at all. and then when its here now, you dont
seem to need it anymore.
anyway i was really really pissed with my
!!!!!!! brother. who is the person i hate most
in my whole life ever. i mean my life mainly
sucks because of HIM.
firstly, my life sucks cos i am currently broke
and have no idea how am i going to survive
after/during the sleepover.
secondly, my brother is getting me super duper
pissed to the max (okay, not really, there has
been worst cases) these days and its getting
on my nerves that i really want to stab him
with a knife/dagger or something. i know i
sound really uncouth and all here but nobody
seriously have any idea, any idea at all, how
it feels like with a person like my brother.
i shall not go into what he did just now because
its gonna be really long winded and i think i'll
start getting all pissed again.
im so glad i can finally use the net okay. thats
a great relief because if not i dont know how
crazy i will get again if i didnt turn on the com.
i mean, i really needed to vent out my anger
but any way i do it, no one would listen. yeah,
like talking to the objects in my room or sth.
like my stuff toys and walls.
its so late now, like 12 plus. which living soul
that i know off is not in bed? in their nice, warm,
cosy, comfy and CLEAN bed. mann, i cant even
sleep now. i really prefer sleeping on the floor,
but i don t think that would be wise, getting
aches all over. and there's the sleep over tmr. BUT
my bed is really unclean what with alll the creepy
stuff that are giving me red spots and my brother
just came in to add somemore dirt on it!
imagine. just imagine. how am i going to sleep in
THAT bed that has just come in contact with my
filthy brother and his dirty, revolting, disgusting
body?!!! and that bed already has BED BUGS.
i've been sleeping in my parents' room these nights
but its soo late now they're sleeping i cant disturb
them... what am i going to do?? argh i cant even sleep
on the sofa. cos its not clean either what with my bro
lying all over on it when he watches tv and even when
he's sticky now its grey when its supposed to be white.
i'll only get more bed bug bites and my condition will
worsen. GAHHH. i really have a good mind of sleeping
in the sleeping bag today man! but i think my parents
would be angry when they find out the next day))):
sigh. should i just sleep in my CLEANNNN bed???!!!
see how bad my life is. i can only change the bed sheets
on the 1st cos thats the date my mom changes all
the bed sheets /:
and you know, i had to sacrifice my pride and dignity
to go and ask my bro to turn the modem on and luckily
he did. if he didnt i would really be pissed and wouldnt
sleep the whole night. YES. how bad it is that i have no
access to anyway of venting my emotions out when he
pisses me off. cos he refused to turn the modem on
and so i cant use the net and have to let him mock me
as i went to ask him. gosh now im afraid that he would
turn it off any time now and then i wouldnt be able to use
this anymore. argh. i smsed 2 people but nobody replied/;
doesnt matter now, since i can blog.
you know, this is like the first time im actually venting out
my anger here with my bro. haha. like a super duper long
post and i cant believe that i am doing this and that i can
do this.
arghhh. i have no idea why i have such a sibling.
and i am sorta like dreading to post this, knowing what
comments would be attracted after other people are
reading this. like giving me advice and stuff. ugh i really
dont want that. i dont know...
okay nevermind about that. i guess i'll just make this
really small. so that no one would read. even though
i know there are ways. okay just hope that no one would
bother enough. well or another alternative is just saving it
in drafts. but then its like.. not really venting out
my anger anymore... gahh im so confusing myself i dont
get it.
anyway, i cant even having peace alone you know.
well i mean after or when i am pissed by him.
cus thankfully now im having peace and sometime alone.
the thing is, i locked my room door and he still could
enter! wth la. he used the KEYS that i do not know
where he got them from. the bunch of keys that has
access to all the rooms in the house. man this is
annoying. which means we all DO NOT have something
precious called PRIVACY. what is this man.
he wasted my time, enraged me, and just wouldnt let me
off! thank God he's here no more.
gee i guess life isnt a bed of roses...
ohwells at least, it isnt a bed of thorns too..
its a bed of thorns and roses i guess.. and
right now im at the area with loads of thorns..
arghh. i am pissed with so many things as well okay.
pissed at having no money left, pissed at the load of
things i SHOULD do but havent been, being so
irresponsible.. and many many more... sigh.
okay i guess there's no point with all this babbling on
and on... i bettter go pray and seek God..
which makes me feel guilty again. cus i havent been
praying and reading the bible as much lately..
i dont know whats wrong with me lately okay.
alright, i've complained sooo much that life sucks,
it has dawned on me that its probably cos i suck
first. so i should go do something about myself first
right? and stop with all this harsh and irritating blabbing.
okay im going now. going to make up for the past few days
and read the bible.
but there are some other things that you just cant make
up after they're over. hmmph.